Writing the Ride

Candace Carrabus Books
 

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Z is for Zigged

I know I started this challenge saying I would write about zealotry for Z. But I honestly couldn’t think of anything to do with that. Instead, I have the story of Norman’s mom, Bertha, and some zigging and zagging.

With death comes funeral homes. We were at the viewing for Norman when his mother saw me.

“You!” Bertha howled and aimed her plump index finger at my face.

Crap. There was nowhere to go except into a four-foot horseshoe of blue carnations.

Bertha sidestepped around a wing chair and tottered to the right. Her thick ankles buckled, unable to sustain any lateral stability with only the two tiny points of support provided by the five-inch heels. She listed farther right, arms pin-wheeling for anything to grab onto, her fake alligator purse coming loose at the top of one swing sending it spinning in a long arc over the assembly like a quarter-back’s pass to the end zone. It landed smack in the middle of one of the picture boards. That tipped over onto a colorful flower arrangement balanced atop a fake ionic column. It began to lean.

Counter to all rules of physics, Bertha found her balance, and then zigged to the left. She bounced off Frank, who had his arms out and ready, but whether to catch her or push her away, I couldn’t tell.

“Your fault,” Bertha said to me. She zagged right again. “This is all your fault.” She overcorrected and began to slip backwards.

The ionic column toppled and the flowers plunged into the casket.

Bertha spun like a buoy in a hurricane. “Nooo,” she cried. “Those were expensive.” She swung back to me, seeming unable to stop moving once launched. “Norman’s dead because of you!” She pointed the chubby finger again. “You! Get out. How dare you? Get out.” She swayed.

Kevie grabbed her arm and she plopped into the wing chair.

“Now Auntie, you don’t mean that,” he soothed.

She blubbered into her hands.

Everyone stared. The only movement came from Malcolm, who pushed his way to my side and hustled me out through a miraculous parting in the sea of onlookers.


And that’s all for me. I’ve got horses to ride.


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2 Responses to Z is for Zigged

  1. love spells says:

    Hello,I check your new stuff named “Writing the Ride | Z is for Zigged” regularly.Your humoristic style is awesome, keep up the good work! And you can look our website about love spells.

  2. Arlee Bird says:

    Congratulations on making it to the end of the alphabet in April!

    Zigged was probably more fun to write than zealotry so I think you picked a good word.

    Thanks for being a part of the 2017 Challenge.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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